Category: Advice I’ve been given

Oh no. I think I have just inadvertently joined a cult.

It all started ion John Lewis, when I was approached to see if I wanted a free tasting session. Now I have a new Nespresso machine, and membership of the cult!

Similarities:
1. It’s a shadowy organisation that exists on the Internet. You can’t buy coffee on the high street, only the machines.

2. There’s new language to learn, that excludes outsiders- pure origin vs blend, ristretto vs lungo.

3. There are some high profile converts spreading the word – Heston Blumenthal for one.

4. am expected to send Money off to ensure my continued happiness.

5. I seem to be signing up my friends to join too.

6. There are texts to study and understand, secrets to study and learn, tasting notes of the true meaning..

7. If you research the Internet, then the organisation has been criticised for past campaigns and ventures. I think they may be in it for the money, not the coffee bean.

8. You are expected to buy the paraphernalia too, not just the machine and the coffee. For example, I can buy the “ritual” set of coffee doohickies (yes, it is the ritual range)- £25 for a water glass, £14 for a coffee spoon!

9. Did I mention there is only one true way? Nespresso cartridge only. I must turn my back on all other makes, even Illy…

Douglas Adams’ “rules that describe our reactions to technologies”:

1. Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.
2. Anything that’s invented between when you’re 15 and 35 is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.
3. Anything invented after you’re 35 is against the natural order of things.

RIP Mr Adams.

1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my hands, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a week ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it’s mine.
8. If I think it’s mine, it’s mine.
9. If it’s near me, it’s mine.
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.

(This was sent to me years ago. I don’t know who wrote it, but I like it. If anyone knows the original source, let me know- they deserve the credit!)

Greg- all your fault, since talking to you I’ve been worrying about what to take to hospital when labour starts.

What do we need to pack to take to the hospital when little junior comes? I was thinking some jamas and a spare change for Deirdie, and a few snacks. The list is longer than that- oh yes.

Best advice so far the BBC web site- http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/having_a_baby/pregnancy_hospital.shtml

And the baby centre web site-http://www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/labourandbirth/hospitalbag/index.html

I think I’ll need a bigger bag!

1. when changing nappies, breath through your mouth.

2. Also, with nappies, keep your fingernails short.

3. It is apparently possible to live on very little sleep. 5 hours a night seems typical for a new parent.

4. I won’t know what has hit me. (This seems to be the most common advise, and usually told me with a smile.)

5. Apparently, baby poo comes in a variety of colours, from black to yellow, and it’s perfectly normal!

6.  All babies look like a tiny Winston Churchill, except your own.

7. Baby first. Mum second. Dad last. This is the house pecking order to be. Accept it.